Anticipating Pet Loss: Pre-Grieving The Loss Of Your Dog

Having  pets in our life, greyhounds or otherwise, is a double-edged sword.  We  all know, in going into pet ownership that it isn’t forever.  It’s  forever for them, it’s a lifelong commitment for them…but for us, at  some point down the line, in exchange for all the years of happiness,  memories, companionship and love that they bring us, we must face the  reality that they will leave us and that we will experience that loss in  ever fibre of our being.  Leaving a hole in our lives that we may or  may not recover from.

There is  something about greyhounds.  We always tell people that once you have a  greyhound, you never go back.  They will be the only breed that will  ever hold your heart for the rest of your days.  They get under your  skin and bring you such joy.  They become your family.

So,  it's unsurprising that losing a greyhound can be so emotionally  traumatic that, for some people, they can never bring themselves to have  another pet again.  Losing them can be one of the most challenging  experiences in life, as they are such an integral part of our lives, and  families, always there and offering such unconditional love,  companionship, and support.

For  those who have never experienced the deep emotional bond that comes from  owning a greyhound, they can be dismissive of the severity of grief  that can overcome you.  Pet grieving is a very real thing, and while  grieving them after their gone is incredible difficult, some hound  parents can be plagued with negative thoughts, and even nightmares, long  before the end.

Anticipatory pet  grief is a complex emotional process that occurs when we start to  anticipate the death or decline of our companions.  Unlike traditional  grief, which occurs after the death of a pet, anticipatory grief can  begin at any point during a dog’s life.
While it most  commonly affects people their hound gets into their senior years, or in  response to illness, or injury, it can be triggered for many other  reasons…even when your hound is still young, healthy, and full of life.   

This type of grief is often  accompanied by intrusive thoughts, nightmares and feelings of sadness,  anxiety, depression, dread, denial, guilt, and helplessness as pet  owners grapple with either a known impending loss, or just the thought  of losing them.

Anticipatory  grieving often stems from owners having a deep emotional bond with their  hound.  This is particularly so for anyone who’s pet shared a  connection, or memories, with another person who has passed.  For  instance, when inheriting a hound from your parent or after losing a  partner.  This can greatly compound both the anticipatory grief  reaction, and grieving process, as it can feel like you’re losing that  person all over again by losing that shared connection.

Moreover,  anticipatory grief may also be fuelled by the fear of the unknown. Pet  owners may worry about how they will cope with the loss, whether they  will be able to make the right decisions regarding their pet's care, and  how they will adjust to life without their companion. These fears and  uncertainties can contribute to heightened levels of anxiety and  distress.

It can be a real  emotional roller coaster, and there is no set duration for how long or  how frequent these periods of anticipatory grief may occur.  

For  some pet owners, anticipatory grief may last for weeks, or even months,  as they navigate a known impending loss after receiving a terminal  diagnosis or they know their pet is getting on, but it could be a  prolonged period, especially if their pet's condition deteriorates  slowly over time.

Owners will  experience a host of emotions and feelings.  Regretting the lost time,  particularly for those to leave this world at a young age, concerns  around their pet suffering and the stress in accommodating their  end-of-life care.  
Anticipatory grief takes on much  the same structure as actual grieving.  There is anger over not being  able to do more and that worry over how you’ll cope without them…which  are all legitimate concerns.

An  oddity is in cases where there is no impending loss.  Owners whose  hounds are perfectly healthy, young, fit, no issues at all…there is no  logical reason to go through anticipatory grief in these situations, and  yet, here we are.  

This is more  uncommon, but hits hard all the same.  We’ve all personally experienced  pet grief, and one of us more recently has struggled at times with  anticipatory grief.  Emotions don’t follow logical paths, and when you  have such a strong bond with your hound, and are so reliant on their  presence, there are times when you can be overwhelmed by the idea of not  having them in your life.  
This leads to periods of  anticipatory grief, anxiety, and an overwhelming sense of dread.  It  can affect sleeping patterns and bring on nightmares and intrusive  thoughts during the day.  It brings about thoughts and feelings that you  aren’t doing more to live life, with them, to the fullest, and that you  can always do more and that you regret not doing everything you  promised them up till that point.

Regardless  of the situation, anticipatory grief can be incredibly painful and  drawn out.  If you are going through it, you must understand that your  feelings are valid.

It's  essential to recognize that there is no right or wrong way to grieve,  and everyone experiences grief differently.  Some pet owners may find  solace in preparing for their pet's passing, while others may struggle  to come to terms with the inevitable loss. Ultimately, the duration of  anticipatory pet grief depends on the individual and their unique  circumstances.

Coping with  anticipatory pet grief can be incredibly challenging, especially when  there is that known threat of the end in sight, but there are several  strategies that owners can use to navigate through it:

-   Acknowledge your feelings: It's essential to acknowledge and validate  your feelings of grief, sadness, and anxiety.  Allow yourself to  experience these emotions without judgment or guilt. Remember that it's  normal to feel a range of emotions when facing the impending loss of a  beloved pet or in just acknowledging that they won’t be with us forever.

-   Seek Support: Don't hesitate to reach out to friends, family members,  or support groups for help and guidance. Sharing your feelings with  others who have experienced similar losses can provide comfort and  validation during this difficult time.

-   Focus on quality time: Make the most of the time you have left with  your hound by focusing on creating happy memories together.  Take walks,  play games, or simply spend quiet moments cuddling with them.  Cherishing these precious moments can help ease the pain of anticipatory  grief.  You can make keep-sakes like paw prints, take little fur  clippings and make a memory box or frame.

-   Plan for the future: While it can be challenging to think about life  without your pet, it's essential to make practical arrangements for  their care and end-of-life arrangements. Talk to your veterinarian about  your pet's prognosis and explore your options for palliative care or  euthanasia if necessary. Having a plan in place can provide peace of  mind during this uncertain time.

-  Talk to your vet: If you have a terminal diagnosis, your hound is  getting on in years or there are other health complications and you know  that at some point on the horizon your hound will be leaving you, it’s  important to have an open and honest dialogue with your vet about what  to expect when the time comes and have already thought through the  arrangements for after the event.  For instance, if you want their ashes  back or do you want to keep their collar for a memory box etc.

-  Consider professional help: If you're struggling to cope with  anticipatory grief, or pet loss, don't hesitate to seek professional  help from a mental health professional that can provide guidance,  support, and coping strategies to help you navigate this challenging  time.

Anticipatory pet grief is a  natural and normal response, and one that is largely out of our control  as pet owners.  While it can be incredibly challenging and affect those  of us that already struggle with anxiety or other mental health harder,  it is essential to remember that you're not alone.
Reach  out for support, cherish the time you have with your pet and make  memories together, and take care of yourself both emotionally and  physically.  By acknowledging your feelings, seeking support, you can  navigate anticipatory pet grief with strength, resilience, and  understanding.  

Remember that  while the pain of loss may never fully disappear, the love and memories  you shared with your pet will live on in your heart forever…and one day  you may be able to give all that love you hold for them to another in  the future.  You are not replacing them, but helping another lost soul  in need.